PRIVATE/CONFIDENTIAL

ATTN: Dear Sir/M,

I am Mr.Jono Bacon. an Auditor of a BANK OF THE JONO BACON,WOLVERHAMPTON (NFSFG). I have the courage to Crave indulgence for this important business believing that you will never let me down either now or in the future. Some years ago, an English welder /tradesman with the York Trailers company, made intimate relations with a Hairdresser of Yorkshire descent. After naughty crank a child was born of BACON on September 17th 1979. This child was me.

I am looking for a foreigner or native who will stand in as beneficiary, and OPEN a transaction to facilitate the transfer of Amazon products to my household. This is simple, all you have to do is to OPEN a browser in the world and visit my Amazon wishlist. There is no risk at all, and all the paper work for this transaction will be done by me using my position and connections in Amazon. This business transaction is guaranteed.

Please observe the utmost confidentiality, and be rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us because I shall require your assistance to invest some of my share in making me happy to help free software. I look forward to your earliest reply.

Amazon wish list

Yours, Mr.Jono Bacon.

  • http://SSPAETH.DE SPAETZ

    DEAR SIR. I HAVE NEVER HAD THE PLEASURE TO USE JOKOSHER UNTIL NOW NOR DO I HAVE IMMEDIATE NEED TO DO SO. HOWEVER YOUR OFFER WAS SO TEMPTING THAT I WOULD BE VERY GRATEFUL TO START MY BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. I HAVE PLEDGED THE SENDING OF “Death on the Road: Live – Iron Maiden” TO YOUR ADDRESS. ALTHOUGH I WAS VERY CONCERNED ABOUT THE ADDITIONAL SHIPPING COST (WHICH WERE NOT MENTIONED IN YOUR INITIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL), I HAVE PUT FORWARD THE REQUESTED SUM IN THE HOPE OF BEING REDEEMED BY THE GREAT BENEFITS THAT THE BUSINESS TRANSACTION ENTAILS FOR ME. I WILL KEEP THIS TRANSACTION CONFIDENTIAL TO NOT MAKE SOME AUTHORITIES SUSPIOUS AS OF OUR BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP. I WISH YOU A GOOD DAY, SIR. SINCERELY, SEBASTIAN SPAETH

  • http://jehaisleprintemps.net kNo’

    X-Spam-Level: *******

    Shit, my spam filter doesn’t work.

  • taj

    Hey Jono,

    I hate to say it, but I have the Pig Destroyer album and it rules. :-D

    -Taj.

  • http://animewine.com/aidy Adriaan Leijnse

    … when I try to post crap like that I get a spam detection :( this world’s not fair

  • henry

    very good. this furnished me with great laughter in the name of our great lord and saviour jesus.

  • http://www.lovesunix.net/blog David Nielsen

    Because spamming Planet GNOME is the absolute best way to get me to buy Jono stuff.. I mean this works almost on the same insane idea as the spammers who want to sell me Viagra by telling me I have a small penis.

    Jono Bacon, I bid thee, cease thine spamming nature.

  • http://www.leejordan.org.uk Lee Jordan

    Hehe, cool add with the Lego mindstorms :) I think the book Rebel Code inspired a Chumbawumba song of that same title about open source, but I’m not sure.

    Is there anything in the pipeline so a stated item can be hand delivered rather than posted?

  • http://neuro.me.uk/ neuro

    Mr. Bacon,

    Your proposal sounds interesting to me, and I may be of some assistance. My name is FATHER TED NEURO, and I am a pastor with the SACRED CHURCH OF THE SHAVEN CHIN. We would be happy to help you, as we purchase items from Amazon for underprivileged children and adults around the world. However, for us to proceed, you would need to be inducted into the Church. Our induction procedure, however, is very simple. It can be done as follows:

    1) Have a camera at the ready 2) Tattoo a photo of Ted Haeger onto your chest over your left nipple – have several photos of yourself being tattooed, so that we can be sure you have been properly inducted at this point 3) Wrap an Ubuntu bandana around your right bicep 4) Stand on a chair holding a bottle of Jolt Cola on your head with your left hand, and a loaf of Warburton’s Toastie bread under your right arm. 5) Have a photo taken of you in this pose, showing the tattoo clearly on your chest.

    Congratulations! Once we receive the photographic evidence, along with the attached form completed and signed, we can induct you into the SACRED CHURCH OF THE SHAVEN CHIN and we can begin to process your Amazon goods.

    Thank you, and God bless your chin. FATHER TED NEURO